I have trust issues and I'm starting to let them show

   Today was Nixon's second day of his new CAHT plan.
   Yesterday he was home with me and he completed 16 pages of math problems, we read 5 pages of an insect book, he wrote me a love note and he did 4 pages of a writing workbook. He went to school and asked for the computer within 5 minutes of arriving. He was given computer time to discourage a meltdown he'd started while walking to his classroom. (He asked for computer time at home with me and was told "no". He pouted for all of 10 seconds then asked to look at his workbooks again. He never asked for computer time again.) He was given an addition 30 minutes on the computer during what's normally known as "center time", which is when he'd do literacy/science/math work. I was told at pick-up time, that he'd get 15 minutes of computer time when he arrived to help him transition from home to school and then he'd join his classmates for the specials for the day.

    This morning we met with the woman who will be in charge of Nixon's home teaching hours. She's very nice and was immediately in-tune with Nixon and handling him. Of course there was no school work involved and I learned she had no explanation for his sudden CAHT situation from the school, but she's experienced with children who have ASD and ADHD and was even aware of what SPD is, which I've come to learn most people have no clue about. Most importantly, she was shocked that the school was giving Nixon so much computer time daily. She's going to call the school and inquire about for "my own educational requirement goals and standards", which she told me was really because she wanted to hear for herself if they actually admit to him being on the computer for so long or if they'd dismiss it. (I showed her his daily behavior reports that actually showed the time lengths written out by his aide).
    For school work, Nixon did another 7 pages of math work, more handwriting work, he wrote Mac a note and we read more of his insect book. He had 25 minutes of free play (Lego's) and then lunch before going to school.

    A little after 2pm my cell rang. It was the Special Education teacher and the Principal (I'm assuming she was in the room, though she never spoke she was spoken to.
     Nixon had gotten a referral for a recess incident. I was being called because it was seen as a "serious offense". Nixon had been "caught" with his hands around the throat of another student while at recess. When he was removed from recess for the act, he was upset and was running in the classroom and kicking chairs. I was called to (a) be informed of the referral and (b) given a choice to come and stay with him for the remainder of the day or pick him up immediately.
    I went and stayed with him for the rest of the day.

  While there I spoke to the aide and Special Ed teacher. No adult witnessed the event. While the other child does have marks on him, he apparently only named Nixon after other children started yelling Nixon's name. What pisses me off the most is I heard that this is possibly the second time an incident like this happened with Nixon and this child. But I never head about the first time, before today, because no one but another Kindergarten teacher (not Nixon's classroom teacher) heard about it...from the boy's mother...possibly months ago. But because of that, there's a "deeper investigation" being done.
   I was asked how I wanted to address recess. How do I want to address recess?!? It went on, do I feel Nixon should be included in the regular recess with the rest of his class or would he be better off in an individualized recess setting. Did he kill someone?! Did he shank a bitch in the yard? No! He placed hands on a boy inappropriately, yes, but he didn't kill anyone. Yet, I feel like his action's being criminalized.
   I replied (without the above snarkiness), that unless this becomes a pattern of behavior, it should be moved past and monitored. He shouldn't be removed from the rest of his class, as the reason he's coming to school in the afternoons is to socialize with his classmates.

    I called Mac tonight and we talked about all this. I also asked Nixon about this again tonight. Nixon has a "friend" named Brain-Brain. Brain-Brain is a computer who lives in Nixon's brain and he knows everything that Nixon does. Nixon started talking about Brain-Brain and I asked Nixon if Brain-Brain was there during recess. He said Brain-Brain was and I asked him if Brain-Brain wanted to tell me what happened. Nixon took a few seconds and said "Brain-Brain's recovering the data, Mom". Then he said "Nixon won the game by hitting a long, far ball. Nixon got excited and celebrated with [boy] by hugging his neck."
    This isn't really unheard of, as Nixon gets overly excited and hits himself in the face and head. The boys were playing invisible baseball. Nixon was the batter and the other child was the pitcher. The problem is, will the school actually believe Nixon and will his intentions even be considered? I'm sending a letter to school tomorrow requesting to view the video footage of the recess yard from the time of the incident. I was told since there's no discrepancies there isn't a need to have it pulled, but I'd like it pulled and viewed for my own piece of mind, and as his mother I have a right to request it.

   I'm drained because I know there need to be consequences, regardless of intent. But I'd told Mac my biggest concern about agreeing to CAHT was that somehow it'd turn into a full-time thing against my wishes, and damned if it don't feel like this is an attempt at exactly that!

**I did ask Nixon if he saw any new gray hairs in my hair. He said "Ummm....yeah, there's a bunch right here!". I told him "That's great. We're naming that bunch "Tuesdays", because they all appeared today." He laughed and said I'm funny.**

Friday was so bad I took the entire weekend to recover and write this post

   It started with another 2-hour delay start to the school day. This weather is awful, but at least it's not feet and feet of snow!

    I let Nixon wear sweatpants to school (I am NEVER doing that again). While he had a not-completely-awful day, he did decide to use the bathroom and then leave it with his pants down. Thankfully, he did have his undies on (trust me, he has done the "Full Monty" at school before...his preschool, before we were aware of the Asperger's and all that).
    I decided he was going to have to do written work after that stunt. I guess he thought I was joking because he agreed to do whatever I decided as punishment.
   

   

    He was wrong. I gave him this sentence to write, 5 times, in his homework book. He hates writing, will do almost anything to get out of writing. I set him up with homework before dinnertime. I gave him plenty of time but set a limit. He had until 6:30PM to finish his homework in.

    He ultimately finished his writing. It got messier, but the point is he did it. 

   Hopefully he will keep his pants up from now on. 

   

I have no explanation only a slight understanding of how his mind works and a plausible conclusion from that

    Nixon had a horrible day today. He spent almost 2 and a half hours out of class today. He was mouthy, defiant and generally uncooperative. On top of all that, he came home with a minor incident report. He didn't hurt anyone, which is the most positive thing I can say about his day.

    I asked him about this, since he hasn't had a day this bad in over 2 months. He said "Well, D (a boy in his class) was talking to me and I didn't want him too. I was on the elevated table doing work". I asked him what D said, expecting it to be some kind of bullying. I was wrong. Nixon said, "D said "Hey Nixon" to me. I told him to leave me alone because I was working, but he kept talking to me".
    To most people, that would seem like a very petty reason to get upset. To Nixon, he was focusing on work and someone was disturbing his concentration. Nixon tried letting D know he was working, but D kept talking to him. At this point, it didn't matter how kind D was being, the sticking point was he was still talking after Nixon expressed a desire to be left alone. Now, Nixon may not have said it in the nicest manner, but he did verbally express himself.
   I don't know if the teacher was made aware of the situation or not. In a class of roughly 20 kids, I'm sure there's almost always someone talking to someone else.

    A day can seriously be ruined for Nixon by something as simple as another child wanting to talk to him while he's working. I can't explain it, because I'm not actually in Nixon's mind, but it makes sense to him.

    The final part of Nixon's day was his tablet time. Because he spent 2 hours and 25 minutes out of class, he had only a minute of his 30 minutes of tablet time today. Rather than use it, he asked to add it to tomorrow's 30 minutes. Tomorrow he has 31 minutes of tablet time to start with.

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    After school, Nixon and I saw a car accident. Well, the aftermath of it. There was a silver car on the shoulder of the road facing on-coming traffic. It looks as it was struck making a turn and stopped there.
   Now that is a logical conclusion based on what I saw.
  Nixon says "You know, Mom. If that person wasn't driving on that side of the road, because that's the way people drive to go home, she could have not had an accident. She needs to be on this side of the road, because we are going away from home."
   That's how Nixon's mind works. This is probably the best example of how Nixon sees things.  

Last week got away from me, here's the 23rd's post

    Friday came and went, as did the rest of the weekend. Nixon's had Monday and today off from school, in-service working days for teachers. It's the end of the semester, which I guess these days are used for grading without distractions of kids in the classrooms.

   

   

   He had another great day. Even with his minor meltdowns, he's really reacting positively when given choices and consequences. 

    Our weekend involved a visit to a couple comic book stores. Saturday was a creator signing. We waited in line, Nixon was great because he had his tablet. When he and I were done, Mac was still talking to the creators and getting a sketch from the artist. There are times I have to remind Mac that Nixon's at his breaking point. Saturday was that day. All Nixon wanted to do was go look at the Big Hero 6 toys at the front of the store. Mac wanted him to wait until he was done. I finally saw how hard Nixon was trying not to have a meltdown (he was sitting on the floor, rocking side-to-side hugging his knees at one point). I snapped at Mac, I told him I'd take Nixon and he can do whatever he wants to do. 

   I'm not perfect, neither is Mac. But I go out of my way, often at the expense of my own interests and time, to keep Nixon from melting down. Mac's usually pretty good at the same thing, unless he's doing something he really wants to do or is super involved in something. Those are the times he'll expect Nixon to "behave" and those are the times we usually have a meltdown, with a side of Mac's frustration showing. 

   For the most part, the weekend was great. We watched a movie together Sunday night, because Nixon was off Monday we extended bedtime for him. 

Today he made choices based on consequences

    Nixon's all impulse and very little forethought. He's not good with consequences either. He knows his actions have them, but unless it's something he's really attached to, he's not overly focused on them.
    More on this later.
    Today, Nixon hardly ate his lunch. I asked him why and he said he was "too busy eating my Ravens colored (purple) Popsicle". I asked him where the Popsicle came from, because I do not pack those! He said "G let me have one. She got a prize and could pick 3 friends to have Popsicle with and I was one of her friends! I even got to pick the color and they have the Ravens color, so I chose that one."

   The most impressive thing about today's behavior chart isn't the 7 smiley faces, it's the note that he changed his actions when told about consequences! Earlier this school year he wouldn't have even listened when in a tantrum/episode. Today he did and he responded! With positive choices!
   I'm such a proud and happy momma tonight!